Like the usual, I'm falling in love. Again!
This time, I'm feeling like it's mutual, like before but the 'before' has circumstances that both she and I cannot get over, and we agreed that we cannot be together. I rather not talk about it as it won't benefit anyone, as it'll bring more hurt to me and to her especially. The good thing is, we're still friends.
The 'now' is cool. Her opinion on love is that there's no such thing as love before marriage. Her stand on that is what makes me admire her more. She is kind of like the traditional Malay girl/woman, "Perempuan Melayu Terakhir" like they say. She's been growing on me since I've known her. But I've brushed the feeling off as at the time I was approaching this girl, and then that girl. When I was starting to get friendly with the 'before', I get the feeling that she was jealous of us.
I've already proposed, through middle-woman mind you. I was rejected. Haha, maybe she thought that I was rushing it. Actually I SMSed her about the engagement date, maybe she thought it was the wedding date, as I just asked her if "certain month" was alright, and no explanation provided. Serves me right for that.
Right now our middle-woman and middle-man said to take it slow. So I'm taking it slowly, one or none step at a time. I don't know what to do right now. We talk like there's nothing between us. I'm respecting her stand on not discussing it without middle-woman, so no lovey dovey talk or anything like that, strictly work related or if it's not, no touching on the love/engagement/marriage subject.
And what's more, I need to stop smoking! But the work pressure is making me smoke more. This is the product of procrastinating. All my fault, my bad!